| i miss you |
[Nov. 14th, 2011|10:50 pm] |
i miss your smell and your smile and your hair.
i miss the scar that ran the length of your cheekbone.
i miss the horrible dragon tattoo on your arm.
i miss the scar from getting your appendix out before i met you.
i miss your laugh and how it bounced around in our house.
i miss your cooking.
i miss the sound of your voice.
i miss the way you snored when you were asleep.
i miss the way you held me when i cried.
i miss the baby i carried for too short a time;
she was yours and mine and lovely. |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 15th, 2011|11:32 pm] |
I miss the twin illusions of security and solidity.
Like most people, I existed under the mistaken premise that I would live for yet another few decades, that I was fine and had a job, that really really bad things couldn't touch me. Like everyone else, I had my share of trouble. But I was one of the lucky ones, wasn't I?
Now that I have probably seven months or less to live, now that I have no job and absolutely nothing to lose: Now I realize that that was always the case. There was no ground under my feet, or under anyone else's. Even now, yes, I might live a full seven months. But like you, I might be hit by a speeding bus tomorrow, or a plane could crash precisely into my apartment building while I sleep tonight. For me, just as it is for you, tomorrow is a fiction.
Ignorance is bliss, and I do miss it. On the other hand: Goddamn. I feel everything now. I can taste the nuance in every bite of food. This close to the end, I am absolutely fucking alive.
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 10th, 2011|02:00 am] |
I miss you, even though I still see you every morning and before I go to bed every night.
I miss knowing how much you loved me, even though I know you still do. Just not in the same way.
I miss the protected feeling of laying beside you with your arm draped over me.
I miss not feeling like a giant hole has suddenly opened in my heart and my stomach and let all the cold air blow in.
Above all, I miss what we had before I helped you to realize you still wanted her, the completeness I felt. I miss not feeling like it's wrong to do anything with you because your heart belongs to someone else. I'm glad I helped, don't get me wrong, and I'm very grateful that you were completely honest with me every step of the way. I'll try to encourage you all the way in getting her back, but it'll take time before this hole closes. |
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| Prove it to me |
[Apr. 16th, 2011|10:15 pm] |
I miss why I was in love with you
because I thought you were this beacon of strength
and I did what you always thought was best for me
and I considered myself lucky to have you around
but now, when you contact me to say that you miss me
and I have to tell you that I'm a couple months out from being married
you run
you don't block me
you just play the silent game
not a single word
I really did think you were a beacon of strength
it made me feel less alone in facing this cold world
I miss that. |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 14th, 2010|11:13 pm] |
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I miss my friends. Especially a particular one... |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 27th, 2010|12:34 pm] |
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i miss having the ability to be happy. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 24th, 2010|08:56 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | not india | ] |
| [ | mood |
| |  contemplative | ] |
| [ | music |
| | rooftops, lostprophets | ] |
i miss the bazaar.
i miss the monkeys, the langurs AND the rhesus.
i miss momos and gulab jamuns.
i miss driving on the opposite side of the roads, and i miss one lane roads that fit two cars.
i miss monsoon, and prayer flags, and the view of EVERYTHING when the monsoon rains and clouds went away.
we could see the banderpunches.
..i miss india. i miss the friends that turned into family there. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 15th, 2010|05:09 pm] |
I miss my father (come february it will have been 9 yrs since he passed away)
I miss not being depressed (it's so easy to control my depression in the summer b/c it's sunny and nice out, but winter.. it's hard.. especially after everything that's happened the past few weeks) :\
I miss my baby daddy (i hope that he beats his case in february. i don't want him to miss out on any of our son's life. i ESPECIALLY don't want him to miss his first birthday which is in march)
I miss having positive friends. (i'm working on getting back in touch with positive people. i've already cut out the negative ones)
I miss having a job (i cannot wait to start school in march or april)
I miss being more financially stable. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 12th, 2010|10:59 pm] |
I miss being carefree.
I miss feeling secure.
I miss being around my best friend and being able to talk to her about everything.
I miss the connection we had.
I miss a carefree childhood, without any pressure, which i never had.
I miss being not depressed. |
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